What Stories Do You Tell Yourself?
Oct 18, 2021
"Self respect is produced by inner triumphs, not external ones."
--David Brooks
The first time I quit drinking was when my ex-husband and I split up. It was his fault, after all (yeah, right.) I totally quit cold turkey and began a fitness craze with a vengeance. I worked really hard on my outside, because I didn't want anyone to know how messed up I was on the inside. I taught aerobics and became a personal trainer. Oh, did I receive the accolades, "Wow, you look so good." "If I could only have a body like yours." "Train me, so I can be as fit as you." It felt so good to hear all those nice things. I certainly wasn't feeling very good about myself on the inside.
Even though I was hearing those compliments from my outer story, my inner story (and it was of the horror genre) kept pointing to my lack of integrity. Integrity is more than following a moral code. The definition of integrity is "the quality or the state of being complete; unbroken conditions; wholeness; entirety." It's the opposite of being divided.
My outer story was cheering me on. My inner story was desperately crying out for help.
I was finding my identity in my outer story; what I looked like, what I had accomplished and the approval of others. I kept telling myself the same stories, that I was okay, that I didn't need anyone else, and I really was as awesome as everyone said. Since I hadn't rewritten my inner story, I went back to drinking on and off for a couple of years. I couldn't do any different. You know what's funny? I didn't have a clue that there was an inner and outer difference in my stories.
At some point, and it's all kinda fuzzy back in those days, I just couldn't do it anymore. The turmoil between the outer story and the inner story became too much to handle. I got help.
You know what I found out...and am still finding out? When I rewrite the inner story, the outer story changes. As I continue to edit and rewrite, a process that has actually become a great adventure, I become more and more the person I desire to be. What I am on the inside and on the outside become more and more alike. The inner whirlwind slows to a refreshing breeze.
When I chose and envisioned the "happily ever after" in my inner story, the outer story began to transform into the best me and the best life I desired! Imagine...imagine entering into 2021, with a newly revised story, a story that belongs to your best you. I get excited just thinking about it!
What stories are you telling yourself? Is there a place in your life where you are struggling or just feel stuck? Envision your "happily ever after." Who do you desire to be? Then go ahead and rewrite...because you can...it IS YOUR story.
Still revising,
Jan
Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
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